Be The Change

And so it begins… again.

The start of the new school year.

Begin again the journey of 645 miles from me to her.

I know that we will make it through this,

but my heart doesn’t want this to go on.

Crying the whole car ride home back from her house,

knowing full well that I will see her again in another 3 months.

And yet, we live our lives in order to gain happiness.

Looking back,

Just came back from Paradise, 

and I see a lot that needs to be done with my life.

Seen a lot,

down in Ol’ Sweet Dixieland.

The people, the places,

What’s good,

What’s bad,

And everything in between.

Got a vision inside my head,

gotta just put pen to paper,

and make it come to LIFE.

Roadblocks are in the way, like always,

But just as the record played before,

I AM NEVER DONE ON THIS JOURNEY TO LIFE.

The finish line

there it is in front of me

so close, yet so far,

I still have one more mountain to climb before I reach it.

So close, yet so far,

almost as if I can taste it.

So close, yet so far,

I know I can make it.

And to think

that I had it

all planned out.

But instead, it looks like,

it’s planning me

and even more so,

my demise.

I won’t back down

and I will fight back,

whatever lays in my path

I will defeat.

And the goals I have laid out for myself

whatever and wherever they might be,

I will reach them.

Hey man,
I just wanted to sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart for taking so long to get back to you. Every message and text that you sent me, checking in on me, asking me how i’m doing, and being there for me, honestly helped me so much and made me smile every time i saw them, but i never answered. For that, i really have to apologize. I really appreciate how much you’re there for me and I’ve been so worried about my life that I never asked how you have been and if you needed anything. I just wanted to say thank you for having my back and caring. Let me know if you need anything or if you want to hang out sometime because i definitely want to soon. Shoot me a text when you get this because we have a lot of catching up to do.  Hope everything is well. I’ll talk to you soon and thanks again, I don’t know if I can say thank you enough to show my appreciation.

As a wise man once said, “When the power of love overtakes the love of power, the world will witness peace.” It pays off to be a good guy sometimes.

Who am I?

A simple question to some, yet

Since the time I began this voyage,

I seem to be unable to answer it with ease.

Am I the kid on the block

Bullied by many, afraid to stand up for what is right?

Or am I the main who is willing to stand up

And look at danger straight in the eye

And never quiver.

I sit here, pen in hand, wearing rags

That are the color of death.

I see things,

Things that need change,

But when I reach down to find strength from inside,

I come up with empty hands.

I return home after work,

Only to fight,

Claw,

And scratch with the ones I love.

I look in the mirror

And I see the person I want to be,

But have I changed

Into something that I cannot undo?

So yet again I ask, who am I?

Am I only the kid

Looking through a glass pane

As things go wrong outside?

Am I the one

Standing on the sidelines

When the winning goal is scored?

No I don’t believe so.

I believe that I am

The one to stand up to the bully,

The one to change what is wrong in the world,

And the one to score the winning goal.

And though I wear these rags of death,

I wear them with pride,

For I know that nothing is ever gained

Without struggle.

Yes, I am the one who others should fear,

And though I make mistakes now,

I am still stronger than ever.

I am the one you can trust, love, and

Depend on.

That is who I am.

Yes, I do believe that is Who I Am.

Give me a job, and I’ll do it, but at the end of the day, as I

Ease into sleep, I am awoken by nightmares of new troubles.

Taking a vacation,  I am only the same slave in a new home.

My life is better than some, maybe most, so I am

Eager to prove myself to others, that I am the real deal.

Ousted from opportunity to opportunity, I just feel more and more

Underrated and more and more frustrated with the way life is going. But

There is a river, somewhere out there.

On the other side of the forest, that’s where it is. But I must get through this

Forest first, if I want to get to where the river always flows.

Heaven is a place, a place that is within reach, yet so far when I 

Eagerly reach out to grab it, it pulls back, like a

Robin pulls a berry of a bush in the winter.

Eventually, some day, I’ll see the river.

It’s coming down to the wire

and man, is it a thin wire.

Only 20 more days 

but it seems like an eternity.

Why have I chosen to do this?

Why have I chosen to live my life like this?

But I know that, in the end of it all, it will all be worth it.

It will all be worth it.

I’m feeling under pressure again

Like a bomb is inside me

and sooner or later

it’s gonna explode.

So many thoughts on my mind

and they won’t go away

They have bugging me

in night and in day.

I’m feeling like I just wanna free fall

and leave everything in pieces

 up at the top of the mountain from where I jumped.

This is no suicide call,

I can make it through anything in my path.

There is nothing that can stop me.

It doesn’t have to be long.

Something short and sweet will suffice.

I would just like

a vacation from a place

I like to call

life.